Tiger Mum?

Now that I have had my first foray into the blogosphere, I realise that I need some kind of plan in terms of what I write about (especially seeing the calibre of readers I have!). So I thought I would write about experiences which shape me. Last week a colleague referred to me as a Tiger Mum. My first reaction was to be offended – me a Tiger Mum, never! Then the more I thought about it, it became clear that I did exhibit some of those tendencies…but perhaps I should contextualise things…

My 10 year old daughter Tia is a mini version of myself. Not only was she born on my birthday (I spent my 29th birthday in labour and my 30th birthday at the SPUR!), but she is outspoken, confident, finds school easy and is highly competitive. The major difference is I preferred team sports and she seems to lean towards individual sports and extra-curricular activities like diving, gymnastics, piano and horse riding. It so happened that she had the inter club provincial selection competition for gymnastics on the Saturday and her piano eisteddfod on the Monday. So for the weeks leading up to these two events, I visited with the gymnastics coach to see what I could do as a parent to assist her in making the provincial team, ensured she got to practice twice a week and sat every night listening to the piano practice until the piece was to my ear perfect. Does that make me a Tiger Mum?

I googled the meaning of Tiger Mums which is defined as “draconian parenting methods to keep kids on track to becoming all they could be.” So I like the “keeping kids on track to becoming all they could be” not so much the draconian bit. Fortunately I have a husband who reigns in my madness if I push too hard. We have also raised forth right kids who voice an opinion. A few weeks before the competition Tia decided she wasn’t going to continue with gymnastics any longer. I tried convincing her with the carrot of competing for the province – to no avail. My husband calmly switched on the Commonwealth Games Rhythmic Gymnastics and the job was done!

So back to whether it’s ok to push your kids…I think it is. Especially if as a parent you are aware (realistically of course) of what your child’s potential is. I will not allow any of my kids to be average at anything if they have the potential to be more. And I am not one of those parents who is trying to live their life through their kids. I competed at sport at school, excelled and enjoyed every moment. I made friends and had experiences which I won’t forget. That’s what I want for my kids. Does that make me a Tiger Mum? Perhaps but I would rather be part Tiger mum than a mum who takes no interest. Research has shown that most top sports men and women have reached that level because the environment to excel is created by the mother. Which dad doesn’t want their kids to captain a 1st team at something?

So to all the mums who sit on the side of the swimming pool at 5am on a winter’s morning, are up and on the cricket field at 7:30am on a Saturday, who read through maths text books to brush up on binomial equations so we can help with homework, who listen to hours of piano and violin playing even though you have a migraine – I applaud you. You are not a Tiger Mum, just a mum who wants their kids to become all they can be.


PS: Tia won a silver medal and made the provincial squad to compete in the nationals and she got a Gold Star (A+) for her piano recital then we all went out for burgers…not bad for a Tiger Cub!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Birth of The Great Divide Myth Blog

I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog for a few months now. The catalyst was when I was asked yesterday whether it is difficult being a "working mum." I replied, "I will check with my husband and find out how he feels about being a working dad and then compare notes!" Yes I know that was uncalled for and probably rude but no one has ever referred to a father that works as a working dad yet us mums that also have a career are often labelled as working mums - does this imply that stay at home mums don't "work." I did stay at home for a few months in between career changes and let me tell you I worked! Enough of the rant. This blog is meant to share experiences with mums who have a family and also enjoy having a career. I make no apologies for being a mother nor a career woman - both are essential parts of my life. I welcome advice and any contributions - the more we all share our experiences and knowledge the easier it will be to dispel ...
Read more

Competitiveness: born or bred?

I am exceptionally competitive...so is my husband. So much so that when we wrote a football referee's exam together and he was the only person who beat me (by 1 mark!), I asked for a remark! I guess our family has the perfect combination of genes to produce more competitive offspring! My daughter (14) and my son (11) are equally competitive. Sometimes the chatter at dinner and the rising volume to have a point heard has to be quelled with a "No one is allowed to speak until their food is finished!" I guess only a mum can win that session! Recently, my kids participated in the referee's workshop and wrote the exams - the very same ones their dad and I wrote 20 years ago. Tia was the only girl on the course and Owain the youngest. They passed level 1 and 2 with flying colours and 2 weeks later went back for Level 3. My son started crying during the exam because he couldn't remember the 10 duties of a referee (Um...there's 10??). He was stressed for an entir...
Read more

Feeling like a new (clueless) mum all over again!

Image
I turn 40 next month and my plan was to hit 40 looking like Eva Longoria! But clearly there was another plan for me and on March 24th this year I gave birth to beautiful baby boy - Dafydd Robert Haswell. My 3rd baby and child number 5 (for those who don't know me well I have two foster children who are 16). Although I had done this twice before (fairly successfully I might add), this time around I felt completely inadequate. I called my mum (what would I do without her!) all the time and in fact asked her to move in for a while to help me. I was a walking zombie and felt like I was constantly breast feeding or changing a nappy. Eventually my sensible mum suggested that I give Daf a bottle of formula at night just so I could function the next day. Let me tell you I have never felt more judged than when I had to make that decision. At the paed visit other mums gushed at how they easily breast fed and that their babies fed every 4 hours etc etc. My son woke every hour for a feed ...
Read more