The Great Divide Myth

I turn 40 next month and my plan was to hit 40 looking like Eva Longoria! But clearly there was another plan for me and on March 24th this year I gave birth to beautiful baby boy - Dafydd Robert Haswell. My 3rd baby and child number 5 (for those who don't know me well I have two foster children who are 16). Although I had done this twice before (fairly successfully I might add), this time around I felt completely inadequate. I called my mum (what would I do without her!) all the time and in fact asked her to move in for a while to help me. I was a walking zombie and felt like I was constantly breast feeding or changing a nappy. Eventually my sensible mum suggested that I give Daf a bottle of formula at night just so I could function the next day. Let me tell you I have never felt more judged than when I had to make that decision. At the paed visit other mums gushed at how they easily breast fed and that their babies fed every 4 hours etc etc. My son woke every hour for a feed ...

Now that I have had my first foray into the blogosphere, I realise that I need some kind of plan in terms of what I write about (especially seeing the calibre of readers I have!). So I thought I would write about experiences which shape me. Last week a colleague referred to me as a Tiger Mum. My first reaction was to be offended – me a Tiger Mum, never! Then the more I thought about it, it became clear that I did exhibit some of those tendencies…but perhaps I should contextualise things… My 10 year old daughter Tia is a mini version of myself. Not only was she born on my birthday (I spent my 29 th birthday in labour and my 30 th birthday at the SPUR!), but she is outspoken, confident, finds school easy and is highly competitive. The major difference is I preferred team sports and she seems to lean towards individual sports and extra-curricular activities like diving, gymnastics, piano and horse riding. It so happened that she had the inter club provincial selection competition ...

I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog for a few months now. The catalyst was when I was asked yesterday whether it is difficult being a "working mum." I replied, "I will check with my husband and find out how he feels about being a working dad and then compare notes!" Yes I know that was uncalled for and probably rude but no one has ever referred to a father that works as a working dad yet us mums that also have a career are often labelled as working mums - does this imply that stay at home mums don't "work." I did stay at home for a few months in between career changes and let me tell you I worked! Enough of the rant. This blog is meant to share experiences with mums who have a family and also enjoy having a career. I make no apologies for being a mother nor a career woman - both are essential parts of my life. I welcome advice and any contributions - the more we all share our experiences and knowledge the easier it will be to dispel ...